First Day of School Protocol

We just got an email from our school’s principal entitled First Day of School Protocol so I thought I would share my own personal First Day of School Protocol:

1. Drop the kids off and skip all the way home clicking my heels every few steps and singing the hills are alive with the sound of music.

2. Walk from room to room and soak in the silence. Explain to the confused and frightened dog what silence is.

3. Start cleaning the house with a fury not unlike that of a mental patient.

4. Give myself a yogurt, honey and turmeric facial.

5. Take a long hot shower without worrying about any loud bangs and/or screams coming from downstairs.

6. Get a pedicure. Tell everyone in the place that this is the first day of the rest of my life.

7. Forget I had to buy some things for my last kid’s birthday party at the bowling alley this weekend and fly to Party City, hoping I will make it home in time for pick-up.

8. Get to pick-up technically on-time but late because all the on-time parents have taken the good parking spots. Run the rest of the way, screwing up the pedicure big time.

9. Ward off the evil eye I am getting from my second child for being late even though I was technically on-time and start pressing him for details about his first day in third grade.

10. Drive home waving to everyone else who is walking. Allow my kids their after school snacks, realizing that I forgot to bake the muffins I really wanted to make to mark the beginning of a new school year. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow!

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